"That's an impossible shot, Batman."

Then God said, "Let there be light!" So there was light.

I've come to realize that I let myself become so consumed in my stress and the daily happenings of life, that I never truly let myself enjoy what goes on in my life. Some things really aren't as bad as they seem and I need to just fucking relax. Take things as they come. Let it roll off your shoulders. Roll with the punches.

In this story, we have Child #1, which is the oldest, Child #2 is the second oldest, CHild #3 is the third oldest and Child #4 is the youngest.

Yesterday morning, I'm up and at 'em and trying to get the kids out the door and Child #2 decides to throw up in the sink. He doesn't have a fever, so we decide to let him go to school and if he throws up again, we will come get him from school. The two oldest get dropped off at school and on the way to Cabela's, Child #3 throws ALL OVER himself in the backseat. We decide to swing by home and get a change of clothes for him. We get him changed and get on our way.

We get to the Starbuck's (I've started to have caffeine withdrawals at this point) and when I get back into the car, the school has called and we need to go back and pick up child #2, because he has now thrown up EVERYWHERE. We are now on our way to Cabela's for the second time, when Child #3 proceeds to take off his shoe and vomit in his shoe multiple times (I'm starting to panic at this point). Not five minutes later, Child #4 starts grabbing his stomach and proceeds to vomit all over himself!!

I can not make this up! I am shocked. I don't know what to fucking to do. I look at my significant other and do you know what he's doing? HE'S FUCKING LAUGHING!! Not chuckling, not snickering. A very loud, toothy-grinned, boisterous LAUGH! And I look at him, mouth open, hands in the air, just at a loss for words, and I find that all I have left to do, is laugh myself. We ended up going to Wal-Mart, buying some new shirts and shoes (because Child #3 vomited in his shoe, remember? Not necessary, but very creative, so I can't really fault him for that) and we went on our merry way to Cabela's and all the kids were fine.

I do worry A LOT! I over stress and I know that a very LARGE majority of the time, it is completely unnecessary. I won't change over night, but it is something I plan on making a conscious effort at trying to fix.

I really need to worry less and start being more spontaneous and enjoying my life before it passes me by and I'm left wondering where my life and time went and I'll have no one to blame but myself.

Well, that's it for now, folks. Until next time...

"That's a negative attitude, Robin."

D. Grayson...OUT!

It looks like we're getting closer to the heart of this criminal artichoke...

Why do bad guys do the things they do?

What motivates a villain to choose evil over good?

What brings these sad souls to the point that they have nothing left but the pursuit of misery?

These are all questions that plague the mind of a superhero.

But, I suppose that without the villain the role of a superhero would be less super.

Until next time...

B. Wayne

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Even superheroes need sleep...

It is late. I am awake and I shouldn't be.

Laying here in bed and flipping through three hundred channels of nothing, I wonder.

How did I get here?

How did I let myself get back to this place that I swore I would never return to?

How do I get back to where I should have been?

Once upon a time I was someone that people saw, and now I am invisible. Invisibility isn't all it is cracked up to be.

Somewhere out there, the future I had once placed all of my faith in is waiting for me. Problem is, I don't know if I have any faith left to reach out for it.

B. Wayne. out.

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Come on, Robin, to the Bat Cave! There's not a moment to lose!

Not a moment to fucking lose. I am so tired of packing and moving, that I've just deduced myself to the most unmotivated person EVER. I CAN NOT wait until everything is all said and done. I can't wait for this day to be over. I can't wait for tomorrow. I can't wait from Monday. I can't wait for the next 3.5 weeks to fly by. Then, maybe, JUST MAYBE, I might be able to fucking relax.

Next week is the appointment for my nose, which will determine whether or not I need surgery for my nose. Then once that is handled, I can start working on my settlements. Which is fan-fucking-tastic. I'm ready to get this show on the road. Giddy up. Come on. Keep on keepin' on. Keep on truckin'. Get to it. READY TO ROCK!

*SIGH* Can this day be over yet, please?

"Careful, Robin. Both hands on the Bat-rope." Or I might fall?

D. Grayson OUT!

Remember Robin, always look both ways.

You ever have just a straight fucking downpour in your life and wonder if the rain is ever going to let up? That's where I am right now. I am fairly positive person, but man! How much shit can one person take before they go completely fucking insane? I'd really like to know, because I feel like I'm there. I have reached the breaking point where I officially feel 100% defeated. My heart is heavy, I have a permanent stomach ache and I have a fucking cold. Are you joking? A cold!

I don't even want to hit the bottle to drown my miseries, because you know what, when I wake up, they'll still be there and all I'll be left with is problems and the brown bottle flu. So fuck you bottle. You aren't my friend, as much as you pretend to be.

I just want to be free of this feeling. I want to feel good again. Why "the man" insists on bringing me down all the fucking time, I will never know. I hate having FML moments. Why can't I have a LML moment?

Fuck all the people who are trying to make my life miserable. I'm tired of letting you reduce me to this unhappy person.

"Planting a timebomb in a local library is a felony."

Quit planting fucking timebombs on my life, assholes. I'm fucking over it!

D. Grayson OUT!

Of course, Robin. Even crime-fighters must eat.

First off, I want to start by saying that I have two cats that have very strange habits. One of them really likes liking a.) plastic bags and b.) my arm. Not just any arm, but my right arm, to be very specific. And you can't leave a fucking plastic bag out unless you want to hear that little fucker licking away at it day and fucking night. Even when I'm trying to sleep, so all bags have now been hidden and put away. The cat would lick my arm raw if I let him, but that little ass, rough tongue hurts. Its like sand paper, but miniature.

The other cat LOVES to the lick the wall. Not any wall, but the two same spots. It's weird. He will be quiet and then all of the sudden its as if, he is trying to lick the wall like a fucking ice cream cone. And he does it when I'm trying to sleep. These cats, I swear.

I love you, little meow-meows, but quit fucking licking!!

D. Grayson OUT!

This is why Superman works alone.

As I sit here, by myself watching an old movie on TV that I've already seen a hundred times, I wonder.


Why is it that I'm sitting here by myself? I used to be cool. I used to be the girl that everyone called to find out what was going down on a Saturday night. I used to have a phone book full of friends to call when I had some time with nothing to do.


Apparently... I'm not that girl anymore. Now I'm the girl sitting at home on a Saturday night reading on Facebook about what everyone else is doing.



I know, I know, sad little pity party I'm throwing myself right? Well damn, how is a girl supposed to feel good about her social life when the highlight of her night was realizing that Erin Brokovich was on TV.


At this point, a pity party is the only party I've got.



B.Wayne

It's all a blur. Like a horrible day-mare.

GASP! My precious companion died protecting me. I didn't want to replace you, but I can't go on without doing so. You are my partner in life and you made sure I was safe always. I wish I could just bring you back to life, since you so courageously took your final breathes in attempts to keep me in one piece. You did just that, my dear friend. You will always hold a special place in my heart, for you were the first to truly capture it. You weren't just a material object to me. You were a part of my family. You brought much joy to my life and it saddens me deeply to let you go. I will always love you. I am so proud of you and what you did for me. It was honor serving with you. Your replacement is nice, but he is not you. He can never be you. You will always be first and your memory and spirit will be with me forever.

I live. I ride. I am. JEEP.
*tears*

D. Grayson...JEEP's Beloved...OUT!

"Even crimefighters need their sleep, Robin."

I didn't sleep for shit last night.

I fell asleep and then had awful dreams.

I usually have very vivid dreams and I normally remember most if not all of it the next day. Sometimes this is cool...sometimes I have really random dreams about ridiculous things that I can call and laugh to my friends about. Sometimes the dreams aren't good, and I wish that I could be like everyone else and wake up without a memory.

Ten years ago one of my Mom's best friends, who I called my Aunt, who WAS my Aunt in all the important ways, was murdered. She was killed brutally and horribly in her home in the middle of the night. I won't get into the details, but obviously it was bad. That same week, four days later my younger brother who was eight years old at the time fell off of his bike while I was watching him (I had just turned 17) and tore his pancreas, severed his liver and collapsed one of his lungs. He was flown in the LifeFlight Helicopter to a nearby childrens hospital for surgery, where he remained in the hospital for a month.

That was the worst week of my life. I was terrified for my brother, and terrified of the world because of what happened to my Aunt. All of the bad things that you see on the news that only happened to other people, happened around me all at the same time and it overwhelmed me on a fundamental level.

Ten years later and I still can't handle being alone in my apartment at night without a light on, and the TV on. I hate going places where there are large amounts of people because my faith in humanity was ruined a long time ago.

My nine year old daughter doesn't have a bicycle at my house because I CAN'T watch her ride it without having a serious anxiety attack. Just the thought of how quickly everything can go badly is more than I can handle sometimes.

These dreams that I have about that week, reliving it over and over again, keep me rooted in that moment. Steeped in that kind of pain, I feel like each time I wake up afterwards, I am right back in that 17 year old mind, terrified and dissapointed in the world.

I don't know how to make the dreams stop. I don't know how to get past that fear, or to forgive the world for having seen its dark side.

B.Wayne

"I never knew there were no punctuation marks in alphabet soup!"

Yo B. Wayne. Fo shizzle, my nizzle, mo fizzle.

For the record, abbreviations of any kind (including "k" for "OKAY" *cough*B. Wayne*cough*) are always unacceptable. You are American, you speak English, fucking type in mother fucking ENGLISH!! I don't fucking care if you are a 16 year twat text messaging for BFF for life. You're parents sent you to fucking school so you could learn the fundamentals and appropriate tools to succeed in life. "Yo Ma. We B GN 2 da club 2nite. u rollin N ur car or mine" is no fucking longer acceptable. We ain't from the hood, ya heard. You're fucking white and American no less. You know how to speak English and proper English at that.

It takes you not even a second longer to type your instead of ur. And if you can't spell, use fucking T9 which will either A.) correct you or B.) not spell out the word until you spell right, which in a sense is teaching how to spell the word correctly in the first place. Sounds like a fucking win-win if you ask me.

Go back to fucking school and learn some fucking English.

D. Grayson OUT!

"Good grammar is essential, Robin."

Ok. I have blogged on other blogs before, about the importance of speaking (and typing) like an intelligent adult. This morning while cruising a "Mommy Website" that shall remain nameless *coughbabycentercough* I realized again how many women there are out there (and with children no less) that do not realize this importance.

In one thread post the words "shizzle", "yo", and fantastic abbreviations like "ur" and "h8t" were used.
"
Seriously. It is one thing if you are a 16 year old girl text messaging her BFF. Then it might be considered acceptable to abbreviate "your" to "ur". THIS WAS NOT A TEXT MESSAGE. This was a four paragraph long post. This woman had ample space to use CORRECT COMPLETE WORDS, and really...there is no excuse to turn "hate" into h8t". There just isn't.

I don't claim to use perfect grammar...but I promise that if you are reading this blog you will NEVER see the words "shizzle", "yo" or the text message abbreviations used (unless of course we are making fun of someone).

That is all.

B.Wayne

I DISAGREE!!

Sometimes, in life, some people make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect all the time. He made an honest mistake and yes, it almost cost me my life, but it didn't and he did his best to make up for it. He could have been a complete jerk and not cared and given a shit about me, but he made me his number one priority. He refused medical care until I received mine. Not very douche baggery if you ask me.

I disagree D.Grayson

If he wasn't a Douchebag he would have been paying attention and NOT HIT YOU.

B.Wayne

Holy heart failure, Batman!

Well, I have a broken nose, a mild concussion and lots O' bruises. Some man, who wasn't a douche bag, he was actually very polite and had my well being as his top priority. He failed to yield to me as he was turning left and I was traveling Northbound. He hit me head on, causing to dig under my tires and causing my lovely Jeep to take flight...and then roll...and roll...and roll...and roll...and skid to halt sideways.

I remember telling myself to be as calm as possible and to just be awake when it stopped. I gripped my hands around the steering wheel and locked my arms and tucked my face between my arms until I stopped spinning. I remember being so scared, but trying to hold myself together long enough to get myself out of the vehicle.

As soon as I stopped spinning, I unbuckled my seat belt, not realizing I'm completely upside down and I will myself to crawl out of the Jeep window and get to safety before I fell to pieces.

Well I got to safety and my mind was a scattered mess. However, everyone involved is alive and well, which is the most important. Both vehicles involved are completely demolished. They will never live to see another day. I'd like to say thank you to Zach, who helped pulled me out and would not leave my side. Most other people would only have cared about themselves.

I am safe, although greatly battered and bruised.

D. Grayson OUT!

D. Grayson is ok.

I've been updated on the condition of my dear sidekick and she is ok. Bumped, Bruised and sore, but will be ok.

B.Wayne

D. Grayson...are you ok?

"Come on, Robin, to the Bat Cave! There's not a moment to lose!"

Last night my hetero-lifemate was in a car accident she was hit by some DOUCHEBAG and flipped her car. She called me at four am to tell me what happened and to ask what she should do. She didn't get in the ambulance (which she should have done) and once she got home was starting to feel the pain. She didn't go to the ER last night but texted me this morning to tell me she was in the ER because her head and her face hurt.

I haven't heard from her in like an hour and now I'm starting to get all twitchy and worried.

I'm about to start calling the ER for an update if she doesn't answer a text message soon.

B.Wayne

Holy Walmart, Batman!

People at Walmart...not to be confused with People of Walmart, which is awesome! People kind of just walk around bumping into shit. I mean, quit being such a bump on a log. We don't all have all the time in the world to hang out at Walmart. We have places to go and people to see. Quit slowing me down. You can talk in the car not in the middle of an aisle. Move it along. Move it or lose it. Giddy up. Get out of the way or I will push you. Mow right over you. Hmmm, yummy Macayos and margaritas. And now I'm ready to shoot myself while waiting at Walmart. I will NEVER make this mistake again. You are on your own B. Wayne.

D. Grayson OUT!

Holy Rain, Batman! There's a storm outside!!!

"Is this real life?" We aren't even in the middle of monsoon season and the rain is coming down in sheets. Droves. Buckets. Pouring. Coming in sideways. In a downpour. Liquid sunshine. Raining cats-and-dogs. You get the point.

It's funny, because I almost took the doors off my Jeep today because the weather was so beautiful. Where do you think that would have put me? Up shit's creek without a paddle. But most importantly, I would have been wet...and cold.

"Or worse, Robin. Or worse."

Still raining and pouring, the old man is snoring....

D. Grayson OUT!

Holy Blog, Batman!

I am D. Grayson and my loyal and much older sidekick is B. Wayne. I'm here kicking it off after a long day of bickering back and forth and not being to agree on anything. This my head "O" and this is B.'s head "O" and this is us butting heads. "O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!" As you can guess, I won. As I usually do. Just trying to get this business started.

Holy heavy eye lids, Batman!!!

"A sound observation, Robin."

D. Grayson OUT!!